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Funny Break-up Lines

 

Break up lines Translated

 

*      "It's not you, it's me." ("It's not you - it's that new chick I've been seeing.")

*      "It's nobody's fault." ("It's everybody's fault - but mine!")

*      "I need to find myself." ("I need to lose you.")

*      "It's just not working out." ("My new boyfriend told me that it just wasn't working out between you and me.")

*      "I love you, but I'm not in love with you." ("I'm really very emotionally lazy and haven't the energy to feel anything right now.")

*      "I love you. but I just can't live with you." ("I love you but I just don't want to be limited to one sexual partner.")

*      "We've grown apart." ("Actually we grew together and I got cold-feet and slithered away.")

*      "We want different things." ("I want someone who can buy me a new car.")

*      "I don't think we should see each other anymore." ("I can't stand to look at you.")

*      "I think we should just be friends" ("Can we still be f*ck-buddies?")

*      "I'm still in love with my ex." ("I'm in love with your ex."

*      "Our sun signs aren't compatible." ("By the way, what sign are you?")

*      "I love you like a brother (sister)." ("You totally turn me off in the bedroom area.")

*      "You're a great guy, but..." ("....I'm looking for a jerk.")

*      "I need to find myself." ("I need to lose you.")

*      "I need some space." ("I have a hot date tonight, so get lost!")

*      "I need some time." ("I'll call you in about 63 years - then we can talk.")

*      "Before I can be OK with us, I've got to be OK with me." ("I have a hard time expressing my feelings. Get the fuck out of my house. ")
(Thanks to http://t6.virtualave.net/top6.html)

 
Christian Break-up lines

      1. "I'm sorry, I've found someone more spiritual."
      2. "I'm sorry, it's just not God's will."
      3. "I feel called to the ministry_very soon and very far from you as soon as possible."
      4. "I'm sorry, it could never work. I'm a sanguine and you're a phlegmatic."
      5. "God loves me and must have a better plan for my life."
      6. "You know, I feel like I'm dating my brother."
      7. "At least I got a lot out of our Bible studies together."
      8. "You need someone with lower standards."
      9. "I think we should just be prayer partners."
      10. "I do love you, but it's just agape now"

 

Gothic Break-up Lines

*       "You make me too happy. Go away."

*       "Dear baby, welcome to Dumpsville, population: You."

*       "You're not weird enough."

*       "You have no more t-shirts I want to borrow."

*       "Ummm... I just realised something about my sexuality"

*       "Monogamy, what's that?"

*       "Will you marry me?"

*       "What? We're a couple?"

*       "Hmmm.. I thought you'd be dead by now."

*       "I much prefer coffee"

*       "I've been feeling a bit strange lately."

*       "You just look better than me in my skirts."

*       "I was hoping we could just go back to being enemies......."

*       "Listen darling, I just wanted to fuck you not fucking marry you"

*       "I'm really sorry, hon. But either we break up, or one of us dies."

*       "I don't know how to explain it, but I think my cat's allergic to you."

*       "It's just not going to work. You're human, and I'm not."

*       "My mom thinks you're a dork."

*       "My parents don't hate you as much as I hoped they would."

*       "I got what I want. Now leave."

*       "You're just too nice. More like a friend than a lover."

*       "I don't fancy you anymore. Go away."

*       "Look, I'm just about sick of you, now wont you just fuck off!"

*       "You're not evil enough for me to have a serious relationship with."

*       "You have my permission to see other people if you want."

*       "I can't date anyone who has never heard of George Carlin."

*       "I can't go out with you because I actually like you."

*       "I don't like obligations..."

*       "Look, hon, being with you is like babysitting."

*       "I know that breaking up will mean the death of us both"

*       "Would it upset you terribly if we were just . . . FRIENDS?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

*       "No, we're not going to break up."

*       "You bore me."

*       "I've gotten all I can out of you. Leave me."

*       "You wore pink last Tuesday. Get out of my sight."

*       "You're actually starting to cheer me up."

*       "You don't like sex on gravestones?"

*       "You gave me live flowers, how tacky."

*       "You want to do what? Bowling?!"

*       "I think your an embarrassment to me and the rest of humankind, fucking hippie!"  

*       "Uh, sorry, I thought I liked you, but I've just realised you irritate the living shit out of me.

*       "Listen luv, after last night I finally got my eyes tested."

*       "By the way, we broke up. About two months ago. I forgot to tell you."

*       "I just get so bored after a while...."

*       "I love you but I want to date 3 other people to be sure if this is right for me."

*       "I lied to you for the past 2 months."

*       "You don't have any more clothes that I want to borrow."

*       "I think we need to have a talk about you and I.... You are aware that there is no You and I.

*       "Commitment?... Wait, hold on, what 'relationship'?"

*       "No, you aren't really a vampire."

*       "It's not that i think you are becoming unattractive but....um... can you look the other way when i am talking to you."

 

Random Break-up Lines

*       "Let's just be friends!"

*       "Could you please remove your close from the closet? They are much too large for my new girl friend."

*       It's not you, it's me.

*       I just don't love you the way I used too!

*       There will always be a special place in my heart for you.

*       I'd rather date an open grave.

*       You and your mom are so much alike....in bed

*       It is for the best...at least thats what my shrink said!

*       Here you have a dildo...so you wont miss me so much...

*       I've found my self...and I like what I found...so I dont need you any more.

*       You smell bad, your hair is ugly...you have pimples and I do really hate you, but thank you for the sex!

*       So what we had some sex, so what? You enjoyed it more than me!

*       Sorry, You remind me to much of my ex!

*       I really need to spend more time with my computer.

*       THE BEST - "I'm Gay!"

Yo Mama's so ugly, she had to trick-or-treat over the phone.